Checkered Events

Working in my bent little shop today in the dodgiest area of town. A young couple comes in. The girl asks for a packet of cigarettes and exclaims "I love cigarettes!"
The bloke reponds "not as much as you love me. Cigarettes don't have a massive cock"
The girl says to me "'he's right you know, you should see it, it's absolutely enormous"
The guy to me "do you want me to get it out now and show it to you?"
Me, "errrr no"
Girl to me, "there's enough of it to share"
Boy, "are u actually interested....ummmm (looks at my namebadge) "Russian"? "
By now there is a massive queue behind them, my manager isn't around and everyone is eagerly listening in to see how I am going to respond to the grusome twosome
Me, "No, sorry"
Girl, "Go on, you would if you saw his cock"
Boy to me, "have you had anal before?"
I ignore
He continues, "do you use lubrication?"
I still ignore
Girl leaves shop
Boy follows saying as he goes, "We're being deadly serious, I know your name, I'll get your number and we can meet up"

WHAT THE FUCK? All in a days work.........

Russian