Hi I'm the friend known as Ruby.
I will start by adding to the tale Scarlet wrote about the lifeguard. Dragged to his house, sitting around drunk, scarlet had left me for so called better company, and I began to realise I was in a house full of chauvinists. Sitting and laughing to myself about this, I was having a good time until the lifeguard came in and did the most horrific thing imaginable. Well first he flashed his winky at me and his friends, shielding my eyes, I was in the belief that the worst had already happened, then he started to run his fingers through my hair.
"What is he doing" I exclaimed.
"Think where his fingers have been" hmmm not good.
I start to struggle, must get away from fingers, then alas in the commotion one of his hands finds it way to my mouth, eughh. I am scarred for life.
So to a story more my own. Oh this is recent and a beauty of an embarrassment. Went back to a blokes house, lets call him the Bassist. Anyway I was slightly tipsy, earlier in the evening I had sipped a bit too much champagne. Now I cant remember a lot of what came out of my mouth, but here are a few beauties, sat on his sofa, started quoting a comedian, I thought I was being witty and funny, but the poor boy had no idea what was going.
"I made 50 voluvents and not one of you, not one of you said thank you."
he replied with,
"I assure you, if you had made any voluvents I would have said thank you" (sorry about the spelling of voluvents I don't know if it's right).
To this I decided to carry on my joke, without explanation,
"nobody likes my shoes"
"you seem drunk, do you want to go to sleep"
now this is a real beauty,
"no I want you to take my trousers off"
The trousers came off, but as Scarlet told me later, if you're too drunk to take your trousers off, you're probably too drunk to have sex. The rest is hazy.
So we move forward to my classis and probably most horrific embarrassment. I was walking home in the early hours with (ummm) the neighbor. I was drunk and he picked up on this, I decided to tell him,
"The only reason I am out tonight and this drunk is because I found out I'm not pregnant."
The rest is a blur and I cringe every time I think about it.