Responsible Doesn't Mean Less Crazy...
Hello again,
After talking to Scarlet over a coffee and lunch today, well my coffee and lunch at least, I began to see that I also have a tale or two to confide in this blog as well. Though mine might not be as explicit as the others, it is nonetheless quite funny. Well so Scarlet tells me, although I am still wondering whether coaxing me to write this was just a way to prove she isn't a complete psycho...but I digress.
Let us start where all good stories start, in a club with a drink or five. My friends and me had decided that we were going to have a really, really good night i.e. get wasted out of our faces and see what trouble we could cause. (Note: Yes, I know that you can have a good time without getting rat-faced and vice versa. But indulge me).
So there I was, bopping along to the horrible cheesy music and wondering where my friends had disappeared to...When I spotted the boy, we'll call him Tony, standing a couple of feet away from me. I had liked Tony for a while now and he seemed receptive to my affections, although nothing major had happened yet. So in my state, I thought it a perfect opportunity to seduce him. I sauntered up, or at least I thought I did and started to babble general small talk. He wasn't drunk or he wasn't as drunk as me and so accepted my advances like you let a puppy lick your hand or hump your leg. Anyway, after a while he asked me where my friends where and I replied as best I could...
"Over there, I think," que massive hand gestures.
Tony looked at me with eyes full of pity and told me he would help me look for my friends. So off we went into the forest of people that was the heaving club. We had been walking around for a few minutes when I suddenly slipped (Blood on the dancefloor?) and I fell backwards, my foot flying up into the air, landing into the ass cheek of a blonde girl. She turned around and gave me a fierce look and asked me quite sharply 'had I kicked her?' A simple, 'yes, sorry,' would have been fine...but no, me being quite confrontational when I'm drunk decided on a different approach.
"Yeah, I did. Bitch," I screamed, while Tony did his best to restrain me.
Blondie looked at me and could quite clearly see how legless I was and probably due to the profuse apologies on Tony's part and my slurred speech, she just let it go and carried on her merry little way. Looking back, probably a good thing because she was a whale of a girl and could have flattened me with her thumb.
After that Tony put his arm firmly around me, which I thought was a come-on but probably was more of a need than a want. However, the fun did not stop there...later I re-named his friends, 1, 2 and 3 because I couldn't remember their real names and then mixed them up, told dear Tony, I thought he was a little stupid and that I was a lot better than him at our subject, pushed him into numerous amounts of people just cause I found it funny and made him walk around in circles with me for close to 2 hours. What a peach, I am.
But throughout this, you may be thinking that he must have liked me to put up with such treatment but no. I was told later by a mutual friend, he let me carry on for so long because a) he felt sorry for him being all by myself b) thought I might seriously hurt myself if left alone and c) I wouldn't let go of his hand.
So you see, I am not much better with the opposite sex as my companions. Although you may not think my tale as bad as others you may have read, let me leave with you one last embarrassment from that night....I wrote him an e-mail when I got home. What I said is still a mystery but the reply will be forever ingrained into my head:
"Yes, well that's nice of you to say. Maybe we should talk about this when you're sober."
I'll let you decide what my message was to him. But there are only a few things that could warrant a response like that and none of them are particulary good or sane.
Regards,
The (Crazy) Observer.
After talking to Scarlet over a coffee and lunch today, well my coffee and lunch at least, I began to see that I also have a tale or two to confide in this blog as well. Though mine might not be as explicit as the others, it is nonetheless quite funny. Well so Scarlet tells me, although I am still wondering whether coaxing me to write this was just a way to prove she isn't a complete psycho...but I digress.
Let us start where all good stories start, in a club with a drink or five. My friends and me had decided that we were going to have a really, really good night i.e. get wasted out of our faces and see what trouble we could cause. (Note: Yes, I know that you can have a good time without getting rat-faced and vice versa. But indulge me).
So there I was, bopping along to the horrible cheesy music and wondering where my friends had disappeared to...When I spotted the boy, we'll call him Tony, standing a couple of feet away from me. I had liked Tony for a while now and he seemed receptive to my affections, although nothing major had happened yet. So in my state, I thought it a perfect opportunity to seduce him. I sauntered up, or at least I thought I did and started to babble general small talk. He wasn't drunk or he wasn't as drunk as me and so accepted my advances like you let a puppy lick your hand or hump your leg. Anyway, after a while he asked me where my friends where and I replied as best I could...
"Over there, I think," que massive hand gestures.
Tony looked at me with eyes full of pity and told me he would help me look for my friends. So off we went into the forest of people that was the heaving club. We had been walking around for a few minutes when I suddenly slipped (Blood on the dancefloor?) and I fell backwards, my foot flying up into the air, landing into the ass cheek of a blonde girl. She turned around and gave me a fierce look and asked me quite sharply 'had I kicked her?' A simple, 'yes, sorry,' would have been fine...but no, me being quite confrontational when I'm drunk decided on a different approach.
"Yeah, I did. Bitch," I screamed, while Tony did his best to restrain me.
Blondie looked at me and could quite clearly see how legless I was and probably due to the profuse apologies on Tony's part and my slurred speech, she just let it go and carried on her merry little way. Looking back, probably a good thing because she was a whale of a girl and could have flattened me with her thumb.
After that Tony put his arm firmly around me, which I thought was a come-on but probably was more of a need than a want. However, the fun did not stop there...later I re-named his friends, 1, 2 and 3 because I couldn't remember their real names and then mixed them up, told dear Tony, I thought he was a little stupid and that I was a lot better than him at our subject, pushed him into numerous amounts of people just cause I found it funny and made him walk around in circles with me for close to 2 hours. What a peach, I am.
But throughout this, you may be thinking that he must have liked me to put up with such treatment but no. I was told later by a mutual friend, he let me carry on for so long because a) he felt sorry for him being all by myself b) thought I might seriously hurt myself if left alone and c) I wouldn't let go of his hand.
So you see, I am not much better with the opposite sex as my companions. Although you may not think my tale as bad as others you may have read, let me leave with you one last embarrassment from that night....I wrote him an e-mail when I got home. What I said is still a mystery but the reply will be forever ingrained into my head:
"Yes, well that's nice of you to say. Maybe we should talk about this when you're sober."
I'll let you decide what my message was to him. But there are only a few things that could warrant a response like that and none of them are particulary good or sane.
Regards,
The (Crazy) Observer.
posted by witchsofeastwick at 10:39 AM
1 Comments:
That story always make me feel good about myself. I did something similar recently.
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